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Forgive & Forget?

I am a HUGE fan of the television show The Game. During the season finally last year Melanie found out her pro football player fiancé, Derwin, was cheating on her. This season has shown them trying to figure out if they should work it out or not. Including them going on a date where the Melanie sees a text message the "other woman" sent Derwin. Even though he was not guilty of dealing with her that time, the text was more than enough for her to leave him alone again.

As I discuss this show with some of my friends I notice that most of us want them to get back together. We think they really love each other, are cute together and so on. Though others think he's done too much to be forgiven and they each should go their own way.

Hence my question of the day:

When do you forgive & forget? When do you hand them their walking papers?

I personally feel that each cheating or trust breaking situation should be dealt with separately.

For example, Melanie and Derwin were defiantly having issues when he began spending time with the "other woman". Their "engagement" was on and off. Melanie wanted to wait until she finished medical school and Derwin wanted to make them official. I am not saying that Derwin cheating was right. I think they both knew they had issues to work out and needed to spend time doing so. It upset me that he was spending time with another woman when he should have been working on his current situation.

I do not think Melanie was wrong for leaving Derwin, but I think they should give their relationship another try. Though some people believe one strike you are out! I am obviously not one of them in this situation.

A situation where I would say one strike you are defiantly out is if a friend betrayed me. If it were dealing with my husband, family or other good friends they would get their walking papers. I would let them explain their side, but I have had my trust broken before and continued being friends with the person. I learned the hard way she broke my trust because she was not trustworthy. It was not a one time thing.

At the same time I have been in two relationships where I was cheated on. I gave both a second chance. The first one I felt in my gut was not being faithful and I ended the relationship. I found out later he wasn't and actually is still a cheater years later. The second ex-boyfriend who cheated on me did so while we were in early stages of dating. I found it hard to trust him but stuck it out. He did keep his word and our relationship was good. We did later end up breaking up but it was not related to cheating or trust issues.

I know that the person who has their trust broken has to make the final decision. I am curious on how people make the decision. Do they rely on their past experiences? Or do they trust their gut / heart. Does someone take time to themselves to figure it out? Or does someone have a one time you are out policy in place.

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