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Inappropriate Questions

I am the queen of asking questions. I ask because I rather ask than assume, but I try not to ask inappropriate questions. If only others would do so too! Here are some I get and/or hear.

“What grade are you in?” Um stupid motherf’er I am GROWN! Notice the diamonds on my left hand and my wedding band. The nice business casual clothes! This is a question I get atleast once a month from some random stupid person that don’t know me and they usually get a rude response. I mean if you are observant enough to look at me and think I’m that young you need to really be observant! And I’m a sistah, yes with a H! Yall know black don’t crack!

“When are you due?” This one always makes me laugh when someone ask a woman who has a muffin top stomach and is NOT pregnant! I know it’s funny to me since I don’t get that question, but still how ignorant is that!

“When are you having kids?” Um lets see, never! Why are you all in our sex life? I mean really! I am going to start saying, “We have sex everyday, but I just can’t get him to cum!” I’m sure that’ll get them to stop asking! I don’t know why me populating an overly populated nation your concern. Are you offering to babysit? Are you going to pay for their food, daycare, clothes, diapers and healthcare?

“Why aren’t you using your degree?” I am using it, to level out a uneven table. I mean really! I have a degree in Business Administration, my MINOR is Computers. That minor does not mean I have to sit in a boring office and program all day. Dag!

“How much money you make?” Nosey motherf’er, how much do YOU make! Um… why you want to know? You trying to borrow some money because I’m not lending any out. I can make more or less than you, but spend it completely different. Can you say bargain shopper!?! Can you say mind your own business!?!

“How much did you spend on…?” Why? No really why? Can I help you get a deal on that or give you a consumer report on it, yes. Are you just trying to be nosey and figure out the answer to the previous inappropriate question by asking this one, YES! Don’t try to hustle me.

“Are you really from Atlanta?” Naw, I just like to act like it. I created a fake birth certificate that says I was born at Crawford Long Hospital. I made all of my family move here too! Oh and I asked my mom to work at Bellsouth in this city for 32 years for the hell of it! Also don’t tell me how it’s rare to find folks from Atlanta living in Atlanta. We’re here we just don’t want YOU here! Y’all messing up our traffic go back to them random small cities or country towns you from! Most of us have to hear about where you’re from and how you moved here for the opportunities, which leaves us no time to talk about the fact we’re from here!

“Why do you live there?” Because I want to! Keyword in your question, YOU! Hence me. Which means I can live where I want! Maybe I live in that neighborhood / side of town because you don’t! Did you think about that?

Comments

Anonymous said…
April, I love this blog. You are hilarious.
Anonymous said…
LOL!!! April, it was sooo worth reading (as usual). I needed this laugh today. I'm going to start recording stupid questions to pass on to you. The "when are you due" question is my favorite funny!
Anonymous said…
Cheah!!!! The "when are you going to have another kid" and "how much did you pay for" questions kill me every time.
Anonymous said…
I only have three words: Out of control!!!

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