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Change

I find myself growing distant from a few people in my life who previously were very close to me. I notice it is very easy to point fingers at the other person saying “They changed.” But realistically we both have changed. We are not the same people and our relationships are defiantly no the same! Is either one of us to blame?

I’ve been thinking about when people grow. They can grow closer to some and away from others. They can become stronger in some traits and weaker in others. They may become a better person in some eyes and a worse to others. They may distance themselves from things they feel are no longer a positive influence on their life and lean toward other things that they think are. They may find themselves seeing through completely new eyes. Hearing with new ears and focusing on things they never did before.

Change can be good and bad. Who says a relationship between two can not grow as they grow individually. Their individual growth may show them that they are not meant to be in that type of relationship. It may mean becoming friends instead of lovers. Or acquaintances instead of close friends. It may mean ending the relationship all together. It may mean treating your own blood as a stranger on the street. It may mean a simple talk putting everything in perspective between you two.

What do you do when it’s not a mutual change? When it’s a one-sided eye opening experience the situation can be harder to handle. Some may understand where you are coming from and why. You may have to explain why you don’t hangout in the same places or do the same things. You may have to let those whom you associated with in a certain way go because you no longer frequent those places. You no longer have the desire for those events or conversations. Is this wrong? Not in my eyes.

There are so many types of relationships. Friends, co-workers, Husband-Wife, Parent-Child, Siblings, Family, Best Friends, and so on. What level of relationship deserves more work than others to maintain. What level of work is enough? Who determines it? How do you know when to call it quits or to take a break from the other.
We all go through phases in our lives. I realized, several years ago, that every phase teaches you something. Well if you let it. Most phases in life cause you to re-evaluate those in your life. What their purpose is, if they should be in your life and where your relationship / friendship is going?

Comments

Anonymous said…
I need to somehow subscribe to your blog because you are just writing away, and I can't keep up! Anyway, I was thinking about this same thing this week. About how things change and relationships evolve, whether we like it or not. I guess it all boils down to this: The people who are supposed to be in your life in a certain capacity will be there. Those that aren't, won't. We may not understand it but it's all a part of God's plan. When people leave you or you grow apart, it's because they've served their purpose in your life. They've either taught you a lesson, helped you grow or in some cases God just thought you'd be better off with out them. Love you, girl! Keep 'em coming and I'll try to keep up -- lol.

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