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Is the ring enough?

Is an engagement ring a guarantee? This is a question I hear a lot.

It’s amazing how a marriage proposal completely changes your life. Those five words change your status from Single to Married. Yes you were a girlfriend or boyfriend before but now you have to share everything! Damn, really everything! It’s crazy! One day you are living a non-question answering (well at least minimal compared to what’s to come) life and then those five words are asked! Now you’re planning a wedding, combining households and accounts (if not already done).

Does the ring change your view of your relationship or do the five words?

I think both symbolize a new level in your relationship. I do not think that immediately after those words your love, trust and faith for them should increase, because that takes time. Many couples discuss the idea of marriage as their relationship grows. This discussion is normally about if they want to, when, how and where. What it will be like to be married and so on.

Some couples decide to begin planning their wedding with a formal proposal. To me a formal proposal is a man asking those five words with a ring. Is the level of commitment different between those with a ring and those without different? If so why?

I believe the ring is security for many women, including me. It means that they have physical proof of their finance’s love and commitment to them and getting married. It allows others to see it also. It may seem shallow to some but it is how many feel.

Some may say what if your significant other can not afford a ring or is trying to plan a special proposal. I personally do not believe you have to go above and beyond for an engagement ring. You can always upgrade or change it. Something is better than nothing to me, but I would not plan a wedding without a ring so might view may be different.

With or without the ring things can still go wrong. Heartbreak, cheating, broken trust and more can happen. So why does the ring mean so much? Who knows, maybe we’re brainwashed by society. Or it could be this is the way we have been taught engagements and marriage works. Remember the children’s nursery rhyme “K-i-s-s-i-n-g First comes love, then comes marriage then comes the baby in the baby carriage…” See it is not our fault, we’ve been programmed this way for a long time!

Would or have you planned your wedding without an engagement ring? And why? Do you look at couples differently if the woman does not have an engagement ring? If so why? And why?

Comments

Anonymous said…
April! This is great, I totally agree with you. The ring makes it official in my opinion.
Yvonne said…
I'm in agreement w/ you, April. There's nothing wrong w/ RESEARCH; but official planning and putting down deposits w/o a ring is like putting the cart b4 the horse.

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