Apearl's Blog

I am addicted to reading current celebrity news online. One of my favorite sites is . Currently, well actually for a long time now, my favorite celebrity couple is Jay Z and Beyonce. Or should I say, Mr. & Mrs Carter! They are both at the top of the music game, stylish and seem to be pretty cool people. Plus I got to love any woman who is consistently fly and drop hot songs! I came across pictures of their new home they started building 6 months ago in, Scarsdale, NY the same city they filed their marriage license in. Check the pics out.

I posted a little over a month ago about me seperating from my husband. Well it’s official we are not working things out. It is a wrap and time to move on. I don't plan to (and haven't been) sit around and wait for him to get some sense. Life is WAY too short, I have been shown this over and over. Between the job, marriage and other life issues I have come to the point where I've decided to enjoy life. I refuse to sit around, settle or wait. The time is now because tomorrow is so not promised! If you are reading this and wondering what I mean… I am going to flirt, date and see where it leads. There is no time like the present. So it’s official I’m accepting applications! LOL I really dispise dating and the getting to know you crap, but it is what it is (deep sigh).

This week’s quote is from a song I have really been feeling the last two weeks. I am a huge hip hop fan and music junkie. Though I am really into the lyrics, though the beats will get me at times. “ God will take you to hell, just to get you to heaven Like a change in direction, even when you ain't planned it All you can do it handle it, worst thing you can do is panic Use it to your advantage, avoid insanity matters To conquer every obstacle, make impossible possible Even when winning is illogical, losing is still far from optional Somehow I rise above my problems and remain here Yeah, and I hope the picture’s painted clear If your heart is fill with faith then you can't fear… Let go and let god deal with it ” No Matter What by T.I. (Clifford Harris Jr) The corus alone got me but several lines from this song had to be pulled and given attention. I didn’t post the corus though. The first line says so much. The hard times are worth it in the end! Make a way out of no way (make i

Over the last week I have heard how strong I am and how well I am dealing with this situation. I am a little disturbed it wasn't harder for me. I have learned or adapted to dealing with bull in my life. Especially from folks close to me. I have gotten to the point, I do not put anything past anyone. I know that seems crazy, but I don't trust 100%. I have people I am close to, but if they stepped out of the box, I would boo-hoo for a few days. Then, I'd pick myself up and keep moving. I do not feel the need to sulk in what was and could of been. Also I don't feel bad when someone does some bs. That was their choice and I have to deal with it. And morning a little and moving on is my way. Sadly dealing with so much bs in my life has allowed me to turn my feelings on and off quickly. I shut off and refuse to care or desire to care for the individual passing out the bs. I limit or cut off all association with the person. I feel no need to continue the communication, friends

I am a HUGE Sex and The City fan. So in my internet stalking of the movie I came across a few clips and a longer trailer ! And there is more... yes I know you're thinking this is more than enough! I came across an article I thought was cute and funny titled Love Lessons from Sex and the City . Check it out and enjoy. I either watched this show way too much or really related to the article, either way I like it!

Frustrated isn’t even the word right now. I am so unhappy with my job. I am in a position I am over qualified for and causes me to work evenings and Saturdays. Which results in me having less time to spend with my daughter. I have been looking for another job, but have not came across anything yet. I wonder if anything I find will be fulfilling to me though. I am not career oriented, jobs and careers are the last thing on my mind. I really want to just write and take pics and get a check for it. Yea, I know they might not be large checks at first. Lately though my creativity for writing has been at a low. I am considering doing an autobiography though. Since it doesn’t require much creativity. I am hoping to start working with a photographer in the next month, though this dag-gone job is hindering me doing so on Sats! I feel kind down and out today. I know that things will get better considering a month ago I felt like the whole world had falling down around me and yesterday I felt on

I have come to realize that being unhappy is a choice. I know you’re like “What the hell?” We make the choice to stay at the jobs, in relationships, to deal with the people or go to the places that make us unhappy. Also we let certain things get to us that we could choose to ignore or accept that we can not control. Working a job you’re unhappy doing may not always be a choice 100%. Yes, someone does have to bring home the bacon but can you bring it home doing something else? Have you looked or pursued another job? (Yes, I know the economy is a hot mess) Have you considered what makes you happy and how you can profit from that? Our hobbies can be our careers! Being with someone who makes you unhappy can be a downer on your overview of many things. I know nothing is perfect, but finding the line between what you can deal with and what you can’t is important. Many of us get comfortable in our situations. We feel we have companionship, when we really don’t. We have a roommate! Your signif

I’ve decided to add a weekly feature to my blog. I will do a weekly quote and discuss it. If you know me, you know I am… lets call it ‘wordy’. I can remember quotes and have plenty to tell you whenever I feel the need. It’s strange how I can remember the words to hundreds of songs, quotes and more but can not remember what I put on my grocery list! This week’s quote is one I have loved for a while and was brought to my attention again by a good friend a little over a month ago. It spoke to me very personally, because it reminded me hating someone is doing more damage to me than to them. “I would permit no man, no matter what his colour might be, to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.” Booker T. Washington It is from his book Up From Slavery (1901), Chapter XI.

I don’t want to be paid, I want to be wealthy. I don’t want just street smarts, I want knowledge and wisdom. I don’t want to be feared and avoided, I want to be respected and loved. I don’t want the American dream, I want to be content. I don’t want to look forward to the future, I want to enjoy the journey of life. I don’t want simple friendships & relationships, I want good friends and real companionship. In conversations with people I have noticed how much we talk and pray about what we want. Then we get what we asked for and nothing more. It normally is not enough. Do not only pray for a house or car, pray for a good stable job. Do not just pray for a mate, pray for self-improvement and a companion. Pray about what is preventing you from obtaining the things you desire. For what is preventing you from being what you need to be in God’s eyes. Please do not just pray for yourself, family and friends, pray for our nation, world and future generations.

This May 19th, 2008 cover of Time magazine is the best cover yet! Check out the cover article too. The cover and article says all I need to say!

Over the last few days I have been thinking a lot about expectations. What we expect from others, what folks expect from us and so on. I covered self expectations a few weeks ago. I got to thinking about expectations and how often they are communicated. When our jobs expect something from us they tell us. Do we do the same in our personal lives? Yes and No. I think many of us do it to an extent. What we want someone to really know we speak up and say. Though sometimes we keep certain thoughts, that are expectations, to ourselves. I don’t feel we try to, it just happens. A good relationship with your significant other, friends or family members should have good communication. Is it always that way, no. Though communication is the main way we will know what is expected of us. Should you just tell them “Do this and that or else!” Uh, try that and let me know how it works. LOL I think it’s a simple as saying “I would appreciate it if you…” Will that work with everyone? He

I have had several friends and associates contact me during the last few weeks telling me how much they can relate to what I went through. Even some in the midst of what I was going through. It amazes and hurts me to see so many of us going through it. I know life is not perfect, but dag! I received support, encouraging words and personal triumph stories when I announced my situation. Over the last two weeks I have been helping two ladies through similar situations. Offering words of encouragement and a different view on things. I decided to share some of what was said. I hope that this can help someone since I see so many are in this place. While I was going through it I was scared of not being with him, what people would say, of what I would do if I walked away and more. But I was being eaten up inside by it all. I was not myself anymore, having health issues and more. I wanted to walk away but at the time there was certain things I thought I needed him for. I finally jus