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Reaching Out

I have had several friends and associates contact me during the last few weeks telling me how much they can relate to what I went through. Even some in the midst of what I was going through. It amazes and hurts me to see so many of us going through it. I know life is not perfect, but dag!

I received support, encouraging words and personal triumph stories when I announced my situation. Over the last two weeks I have been helping two ladies through similar situations. Offering words of encouragement and a different view on things. I decided to share some of what was said. I hope that this can help someone since I see so many are in this place.

While I was going through it I was scared of not being with him, what people would say, of what I would do if I walked away and more. But I was being eaten up inside by it all. I was not myself anymore, having health issues and more. I wanted to walk away but at the time there was certain things I thought I needed him for. I finally just prayed and prayed about it. I didn't know what else to do so I did that every time I thought about the situation, talk to him, or got upset about any of it.

After several weeks he said he wanted to seperate. I can say now I think God was telling me to leave and showing me what I need to see and hear but I refused to do what I needed to do. I pray a prayer everynight for years asking God to show me what I need to see and let me listen to what I need to hear. I feel he was doing that but I wasn't doing my part.

I know in my heart I should of walked away but I didn't. He was a totally different person before the I DOs and after he was controlling, verbally abusive and more. I knew it was wrong and I am normally a very strong person, but I thought as a wife I was suppose to stay and fight.
We, as women, got to love ourselves more than anyone (other than our kids). It is a priority, especially now a days when folks have no respect for themselves much less anyone else. If you think you should walk away, walk! Even if it’s just a brief separation. God does not give any of us more than we can bear.

Think about it this way. What's the worse that can happen. You miss him for a while and get over and find a great guy who is actually great to you! You leave, he gets his act together and yall work it out. Either way it will work out for the best and you HAVE to believe that. Trust me you do!

You have to show him that you respect and love yourself enough to stand up for yourself. If he wants to cheat, be abusive, mean, ect he can do that without you in his life. You can't go into a marriage knowing that any of that is going on because there is no way to know it will stop. You can not control anyone’s actions but yours.

I really hope that anyone going through situations like this, can sort it out and find their peace with it. Try taking sometime away from the situation. You will be amazed how clear you can think away from the situation.

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