Last night I went out with several of my girlfriends for drinks. During a conversation with other patrons, one of the guys decided to give us a breakdown on how women and men select, date and decide to go for the “Ultimate Goal,” marriage. It may seem strange but I never thought of marriage as The goal of dating. Even though I know that dating leads to settling down and possibly marriage. I never really thought about how some people see it this way until last night.
I never looked at marriage that way. I knew that I would eventually settle down and get married. I never had a set age or status for when I would. I have done the living together thing and decided that I would not do it again. I realized that I was giving all of myself in relationships without the legal part. I learned what did not work for me in previous relationships. I tried it a different way with the ex-husband and you see where I am now. So once again, I am taking my lessons learned to guide my steps.
I realized that many people think of marriage as the winning touchdown at the super bowl or the three pointer with 4 seconds on the clock type of thing. I am not saying it is not that, but I can not help but wonder if looking at it this way causes us to loose focus of what marriage really is. Are we making sure we are truly selecting the proper mate?
I believe it is possible to be comfortable with someone and believe they are the one so that we can have the goal. Every athlete wants a super bowl ring! Every single person wants companionship and happiness. We have to find our personal goals and needs from a mate and make sure that these are fulfilled. I feel some of us put certain needs and desires on the back burner because we see that goal within reach. Sometimes our goals and needs are there to weed out the unworthy.
I never looked at marriage that way. I knew that I would eventually settle down and get married. I never had a set age or status for when I would. I have done the living together thing and decided that I would not do it again. I realized that I was giving all of myself in relationships without the legal part. I learned what did not work for me in previous relationships. I tried it a different way with the ex-husband and you see where I am now. So once again, I am taking my lessons learned to guide my steps.
I realized that many people think of marriage as the winning touchdown at the super bowl or the three pointer with 4 seconds on the clock type of thing. I am not saying it is not that, but I can not help but wonder if looking at it this way causes us to loose focus of what marriage really is. Are we making sure we are truly selecting the proper mate?
I believe it is possible to be comfortable with someone and believe they are the one so that we can have the goal. Every athlete wants a super bowl ring! Every single person wants companionship and happiness. We have to find our personal goals and needs from a mate and make sure that these are fulfilled. I feel some of us put certain needs and desires on the back burner because we see that goal within reach. Sometimes our goals and needs are there to weed out the unworthy.
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